I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
