I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize