just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
