I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
