U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
