Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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