I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
