I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
