just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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