you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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