We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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