Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
