Kiss
Puke
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
