i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
