community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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