to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
