hell yes lets make some ravioli
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
