I met the friendliest cop last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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