i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
