I just made out with a guy for $7.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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