i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
