Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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