Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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