I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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