Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
