just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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