"it" just moved
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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