I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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