1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
