now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
