right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
