hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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