It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
