Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
