the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
