so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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