what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wish my penis had a tongue
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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