I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
