So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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