pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
