I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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