Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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