just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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