I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
