one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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