you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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