i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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