Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
