dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
