you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
