He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
