I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
