What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
