dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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