Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
